Dear Editor:

I think it's time a husband speaks up. My 20 year old wife reads your column and she showed me the last one. Somehow she got the idea that a paddling would be romantic. For months she has been deliberately trying to provoke me. The whole business seemed stupid, but I finally decided to get the idea out of her head once and for all.

Apparently the few times her folks had whacked her with the brush only amused her. Her attitude needed changing.

Yesterday she really asked for it. She said I wasn't man enough to master her. I was ready. In my pocket was coiled a length of small-bore rubber tubing recommended to me as producing no physical harm but intense smarting. I literally carried her out to the woodshed and put her across the workbench, skirt raised.

I worked her over from the waist to her ankles, then repeated threw dose on already punished hips. thighs, and calves. Before I quit she was thoroughly subdued and convinced that there is no fun at all in a real whipping. I am sure she will be willing to forget her nonsense.

Incidentally, Mrs. K. is right about the tenderness of the thighs. When they were stung, my wife really screamed. However, I also learned that well-upholstered hips are sensitive too, provided panties are taut, the instrument used is punishing, and the strokes sufficiently hard.

Funny, but the little woman says the tanning was what she wanted up to a point, but once the pain was sharp enough, it was sheer agony - never to be repeated.

Mr. L.K., Sandpoint, IA